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January 24, 2014 in Success & Family, Uncategorized


In this message, I want to talk about dealing with two of the most destructive obstacles to success.  The Fear of Failure and the negativity of others. Without the resolve and faith to go on, in spite of the opinions of those around you and the setbacks that are a natural part of accomplishment, success is not possible.  The single most important factor separating those who achieve great things and those who don’t, is their perception of… and reaction tofailure and negativity…   http://wp.me/p2EGlL-2JS 

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First, understand the moment you declare that you are going to do something different, something that can change your life and even the lives of others; you are going to get push back from the people you know.  There is no getting around it.  Those who dare to make their dreams come true are often considered crazy, by those around them… sometimes even by the entire world. 

In the next message we are going to deal with rejection, but for now, understand  IT WILL HAPPEN.  When it does.  Ignore them and believe in you!

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When you step up to do something different, there will be people who try to put you back down.  You will hear a barrage of negativity…

“You can’t succeed in this economy?”
“You can’t do that, you’re too old”
“You can’t do that, you’re too young!”
“You aren’t smart enough”

Or any of a thousand other reasons that YOU CAN’T  DO IT!

Ignore them… it’s all garbage!

THE COUNSEL OF OTHERS-  Following are a few people you may have heard of that were told they weren’t good enough…

DO NOT, let your thoughts, ideas and beliefs be dictated by the negativity of others who tell you what they think you can and can’t do?  Don’t let your life’s choices and direction be determined by the beliefs of those who spend their lives creating excuses for their own failure and mediocrity!

Understand, I’m in no way telling you to ignore good advice.  I’m not saying ignore those with a potentially valuable insight.  But I AM saying be discerning about what who and what you allow to influence you.   But realize, if what you are considering, is really new; really revolutionary?  There are going to be VERY few people who can possibly have an relevant insight to you objective.  The best example of that is the Wright brothers.  No one had ever flown before.  So, who could possibly have given them valuable insights as to how realistic the was the possibility of flying, or to its potential benefit?  Virtually, no one!

So when you hear those who say it can’t be done ask yourself “is this someone who actually has any expertise in this area?”  If your doctor says don’t sell cyanide because it will kill people.  Listen to her, she probably knows what she’s talking about.

If your gardener tells you there’s no future in the internet, you might want to consider the source.

This may sound a bit harsh, but it’s simply reality.  When your friend says this or that won’t work, you have to be able to say to yourself something like…   “It doesn’t matter what he says!  I will keep and trust my own council.  He works at Denny’s, I love him, respect him, but this isn’t his area of expertise”.

Has he examined the business?  The business program?  The market potential?  The investment required?  Rate of return?  Exactly how much time has he spent trying to truly understand the specifics of what you are trying to do?  If his background warrants deferring to his judgment, then, definitely, consider his opinion.  (But never forget, Oprah was told she wasn’t right for TV!)  But their back ground doesn’t warrant it?  It’s not such that you should allow your future to be swayed by their opinion?  Then politely ignore him and do what you know needs to be done!

This doesn’t mean you don’t love him or that he’s not brilliant or even the most trustworthy person in the world.   It just means this is an area in which he is not capable of giving an accurate analysis.   Never forget, the person you must listen to and trust most… is you!  By example, some people consider me reasonably bright… but I’m not the person to ask for an analysis of a scholarly paper written in Greek!

YOU have to be the ultimate arbiter of your actions.   Your future does not depend on the opinions of others… it depends solely on your choices.

YOU determine your life… you determine your actions, don’t let anyone ever tell you that you can’t!


If you spend your life listening and buying into the opinions of others, you will NEVER fully experience  true success and achievement.  You will never realize YOUR potential or build the life you are capable of living!

Every successful person in history has had to deal with the negativity of others.  And every one of them overcome it the same way.   They ignored it.  They made their decisions based on what THEY though was possible, what they thought was right.  They ignored the naysayers. 

  • Everyone thought the Wright brothers were insane.  If man was meant to fly, God would have given us wings!
  • As to Henry Ford, the conventional thought was that, even if it can be done, a horseless carriage made no sense.  It was difficult to get enough gas and it wouldn’t operate on most roads… I mean, there were a million legitimate reasons that made it a bad idea.   And quite frankly, he experience numerous failures, in turning his incredible vision into reality.  But he kept his own counsel and persevered.

The Wright brothers and Ford, like all successful visionaries, believed in themselves, their ideas, their abilities… they simply ignored, conventional wisdom and did the impossible anyway!

Whatever your idea, whatever you are trying to accomplish, that’s what you’ve got to do.  Believe in yourself and Ignore them!

Never!  let the thoughts, ideas and beliefs of others determine who you are or what you can accomplish.

As was said by Anthony Robbins:

“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.”

If your idea is moral, helps others, has market potential and if it’s not patently IMPOSSIBLE…  then even if you do not currently have the resources to get it off the ground… you can find them.  There is a way for you to do it.  But you have to believe in yourself and you have to start!

Where would the world be if the wright brothers listened to those that thought they were nuts?
Where would be if Edison gave up after over 10,000 failed attempts at the light bulb?

This is just a fact of life… if you want to rise above the crowd… sometimes you  have to ignore the crowd.  You have to be willing to listen to your own voice and when you experience the temporary setbacks that all successes endure, you have to get back up and do it again!



  1. There is no way around it. Rejection happens and we can either let it destroy us… or improve us. Like all things, the choice is ours.

  2. to succeed you must fail

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